Fanboys of a Different Sort

As many of you know, I am very outspoken about two things: my atheism and my love of comic books. It may not seem like the two have anything in common, but I've come to realize that I can reconcile my disappointment with religious folk with my love of comic books. I have been interested in both things for roughly the same amount of time. I remember being about 10 or 11 years old and hearing about a book called "Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?". I did not read the book, but my mom had read it and the central question seemed to be: "If god created the universe and is still in control of it, then why does he allow suffering and injustice?" The question is a good one and it is one that lead me down the path towards atheism. About a year later I discovered George Carlin, and ever since hearing his album "Jammin' In New York" in the sixth grade I began to share many if not all of his thoughts and observations about religion, politics, the Earth, and life in general. After hearing Carlin's take on god and religion I still had my Bar Mitzvah, which was yet another step towards my godless lifestyle. The Bar Mitzvah is supposed to be a time in a boy's life when he becomes a man in the eyes of the Jewish community. A time when you are supposed to be an individual that is responsible and righteous, but I didn't care about any of that. I cared about getting through all of those damned Torah study sessions so that I could get to the party. This Bar Mitzvah would be a weekend all about me and I would be able to get loads of presents. Now, I was never a selfish or spoiled kid, but hey I have Jewish blood so if someone wants to give me free shit I'm going to take it. After the craziness of the Bar Mitzvah was over I didn't feel any different. I didn't feel any closer to god. In fact I wanted nothing to do with religion. After the Bar Mitzvah came religious school at the temple once a week. Hot diggity! I was already going to a religious middle school and now I could count on an extra hour of religious study per week. Since I wasn't emancipated from my parents and I wasn't strong enough to argue with them, I went to the religious school classes while my sister, who drove me to the classes, decided to ditch said classes. And I continued to go until I was confirmed at 16. At that point I had had enough and I told my parents that I was through and that they should not expect to see me graduate from religious school. I received some backlash, but it was more like nagging than anything else. Afterall, both of my sisters had graduated so why should I be any different? I guess they couldn't complain too much since I was at a religious high school and I would still be receiving a good, solid religious education. After high school was over I went to college, and like most people my age I discovered that I didn't have to live the life that my parents wanted for me. Even though there was a Hillel at UT San Antonio I didn't have any interest in finding out any information about it. I didn't seek out a synagogue either. I only attended services when I returned home for the religious holidays. I would just sit in my seat and daydream or walk around the temple until after services let out. I would have rather been anywhere else, but my family still had a bit of a stranglehold on me. The next summer I went back to Camp Sabra like I had every other year and I participated in the Shabbat services, but not out of some feeling of religious duty. I simply liked the song leader and it was fun to sing along with the campers and fellow staff members. That same summer a friend of mine was reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. I was happy to see a like-minded thinker at a Jewish summer camp. He let me read the book when he was through with it, and after the first few pages I came to realize that I was an Atheist. I guess it had never occurred to me before reading the words in print but it all made sense. I found it very ironic that I became an Atheist while at a Jewish summer camp. I was happy that I had finally come to realize this, and I now understood why religion had left me with such a bad taste in my mouth for all of these years. I now had a label for myself. When I returned home from camp I decided to tell my family. I got different reactions from each family member ranging from disappointment to confusion. Despite my years of dragging my feet to services and religious school they still seemed rather shocked by the news. They all seem to hold out hope that this is all just a phase. That I'm just mad at god and that I will one day find religion again. A few months later I decided to buy tickets to a Dave Matthews Band concert that took place on the eve of Yom Kippur which is the holiest date on the Jewish calendar. I was going to go to the concert with both of my sisters and that came as yet another shock to my parents. Maybe they realized that this wasn't just a phase any more. As I became more comfortable with my Atheism I began to tell other people my thoughts and feelings on religion and I learned that a few of my friends had already felt the same way. I learned that there was a rather large Atheist community in Austin and that they put on a weekly TV show about Atheism. I began to watch this show every week and I learned a lot about Atheism and religion in general, but I still was unable to get over all of these bad feelings that I had about religious folk. I am a very tolerant person and I can respect people who have different opinons, but I was never able to respect people that called themselves religious. I just could not understand how they were able to be mostly rational people on six days out of the week, but they would all gather in their religious houses of worship and pray to an invisible man in the sky. I did not like feeling this way. I do not claim to be in any way superior, so I wanted to be able to understand. Today, I finally realized how I can begin to understand these folks. As I said at the beginning of the post I am a lover of comic books. I go to the comics shop every Wednesday when the new books come out and I arrive there just as the store opens. Some might even call my devotion to these four-color adventures religous. So, that's when it hit me. Maybe I can learn to accept that there are people out there that do not share my thoughts on religion, just as there are those who are not into comic books. I am a fanboy when it comes to all things related to comic books just like religious folk are fanboys when it comes to all things related to god. It may not be the best way to understand why people cling to their religious beliefs but it's a start.