Facebook Status

Stephen is wondering if one night of drinking by himself makes him an alcoholic. I know that this post is more fitting of a facebook status update, but I don't think that my family should see this post. Not that there's really anything for them to worry about. Obviously I'm sober enough to write this post and make it somewhat coherent. I went to Chili's with Stephen (Uzick) tonight and I had a Presidente Margarita with my meal. I got back home about a half hour ago and I made myself a drink and I will probably have another after I finish this one. I don't have any classes tomorrow, and I'm bored so I figured that I would entertain myself in some way that didn't involve the TV or my computer. So, I turned to my friends that reside in the refrigerator. I want to assure all of you that I am not depressed or anything like that, I just thought that it would be fun to have a drink or two. Is that wrong? People do this all the time right? Right?

The Adventures of The Decider and Uhhh, The Boy Wonder

Today started out like any other day. I woke up, fed Oliver, took him outside, and got online. Earlier in the week Stephen (Uzick) and I had discussed going to a new breakfast place called Juan in a Million on Cesar Chavez. He had seen it advertised on TV and it was supposed to be a great place to get breakfast tacos. So, when I got up this morning at around 9 I had to remind myself to avoid breakfast until Stephen got online and I could confirm our plans. Before I had noticed, it was almost 11 and Stephen hadn't gotten online, so I decided to send him a text message. He got online shortly after that and we decided to get up and get out of our apartments. A few minutes later he came over and we drove to Juan in a Million. I guess we underestimated it's popularity because it was packed. There were a lot of people waiting outside and no place to park, so we had to turn around. First, we thought that we would go to El Chilito on Manor Rd., but then Stephen thought it would be a good idea to go to Taco Shack because it would be more filling. So, we then drove back to the campus area and went past the Taco Shack on Guadalupe which looked pretty empty. On our way we also looked at Kerbey Lane, but decided it was too busy. Then, we decided to check out the other location on Lamar and we saw that they also looked pretty empty. We realized that much like another quality establishment, Chick-fil-A, Taco Shack is closed on Sundays. Thanks God. When are people going to realize that money is better than their invisible friend? Don't they realize that they will likely make more money if they stay open 7 days a week instead of 6? If they still wanted to respect their employee's religious delusions, then couldn't they just give the ultra-religious time off on Sundays, and remain open for those of us that like to eat good food on Sundays or any other day of the week? But, I digress. So, after three failed attempts, Stephen and I decided to try the other Kerbey Lane on Kerbey Ln. At first, we couldn't figure out how to get there so we ended up driving around in a few circles, and when we finally found it we realized that it was pretty small and it also looked pretty packed. So, we then drove to Waterloo Icehouse on 38th and Lamar. Now, while all of this is going on Stephen and I are trying to come up with other restaurants that we could go to. We're so indecisive. It always takes us a long time to come up with ideas for whatever we want to do. We'll go back and forth between a few places and then narrow it down to two and by then we have to flip a coin. Sometimes we'll flip and we won't like the outcome of the toss so we'll have to go for best two out of three. Neither one of us wants to make a decision that the other one will be unhappy with. Anyway, we finally got to Waterloo and sat down at our table. Our waitress soon came along and we both ordered a rather large meal since it was after 12 and neither one of us had eaten anything yet. She was rather cute and we both thought that it would probably be a good idea to strike up some kind of conversation with her, but we both chickened out because we're cool like that. Also, she reminded us of someone, but we were unable to figure out who. I came up with the idea that she kind of looked like a hybrid between Vanessa Hudgens and Mila Kunis. Anyway, as we were eating I congratulated Stephen on his decision-making abilities as he was the one that said we should go to Waterloo. It was really a good choice and I'm sure we'll be back there soon. I gave him the nickname Mr. Decider, which would then make me his Boy Wonder. He then came up with The Decider, which even though it brings back horrible memories of Mr. Bush is a good superhero name, and I am his ward Uhhh. So, we are now the unstoppable team of The Decider and Uhhh, The Boy Wonder. After we were through with breakfast we went back to our apartments to change, and then went to the gym to attempt to work off some of the calories we had consumed at Waterloo. Stephen was more successful than me as he did some cardio, and I stuck to weights. Anyway, when we were through with the gym we were walking back on Stephen's side of 24th like we normally do and we came up to Cain & Abel's. As we came up to the parking lot we saw two guys and a girl standing by a car. One of the guys was clearly drunk, and it looked like his girlfriend or friend was trying to hold him up against the car so he wouldn't fall flat on his face. When Stephen and I approached, the dudebro (Sorry Vincent, it's such a good word. I had to use it.) that was propped up against the car, he said "Hey faggot." I looked at him, assuming he was talking to me, and he said "Yeah, you. You're a faggot." I said, "Thank you." I didn't know if I was supposed to be mad or whether or not this was an invitation, so I kept on walking past him. He called me a faggot one more time as Stephen and I walked away. Maybe if I was still on my caffeine high from breakfast I would have gone over to him, but I was so tired from the gym. I'm not sure what I would have done had I approached him though. Would his friends try to defend his buffoonish behavior? I could have done one of two things I guess: I could have made him uncomfortable (or comfortable if he was closeted and ashamed of himself) by going up to him and squeezing his balls, saying "Who's the faggot now?", or I could have tried to fight him. Maybe I would have "kicked his ass" just because he was so fucking stupid with his loafers, khaki shorts, polo shirt and backwards baseball cap. Oh, how I hate those clothes. If he wasn't so piss drunk I probably wouldn't have stood a chance, but since he was I probably could have gotten in some good hits. I wasn't offended that he was calling me a faggot, I just didn't realize that we were still in middle school. Who calls someone a faggot anymore just based on their appearance? Also, who is shitfaced by 3:30 in the afternoon on a Sunday? He's probably making Jesus weep. Perhaps next time someone tries to insult me I'll have a better response. Anyway, enough on that subject. I'm over it now. I guess this is as good a place as any to stop. 'til next time fair citizens. Until then I remain Uhhh, The Boy Wonder.

Nothing's Sacred

Last night I became an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. Surprise! Yes, I am still an Atheist. In fact, my atheism is what lead me to do this. I was watching a YouTube clip from "The Atheist Experience" TV show that airs here in Austin, and one of the hosts, Matt Dillahunty, said that he was also an ordained minister. He said that he took a few moments and signed up online. This idea intrigued me, so after watching the clip I went to the web site for the Universal Life Church and became ordained. All I had to do was enter my legal name, address, and e-mail address and abracadabra I became ordained. Easy as cake (Carlin fans will understand that). Now, you may be asking yourself why I wanted to do this. Well, I find the whole idea rather amusing. The idea that someone like myself can become a real ordained minister over the Internet further proves to me that this whole religion thing is just plain silly. The Universal Life Church issues ordinations based on the belief that all people are already ordained by god and that the church is simply recognizing this fact. So, if we're arguing that a god does exist, then even someone like me is capable of being a minister. If any of you out there need someone to officiate at a wedding, funeral, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, etc. you know who to contact.

Note to Self

Note to self:

Eating garlic or something garlic-flavored before bed is a bad idea. It may keep the vampires away, but no matter how many times you brush your teeth the flavor will remain.

Fanboys of a Different Sort

As many of you know, I am very outspoken about two things: my atheism and my love of comic books. It may not seem like the two have anything in common, but I've come to realize that I can reconcile my disappointment with religious folk with my love of comic books. I have been interested in both things for roughly the same amount of time. I remember being about 10 or 11 years old and hearing about a book called "Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?". I did not read the book, but my mom had read it and the central question seemed to be: "If god created the universe and is still in control of it, then why does he allow suffering and injustice?" The question is a good one and it is one that lead me down the path towards atheism. About a year later I discovered George Carlin, and ever since hearing his album "Jammin' In New York" in the sixth grade I began to share many if not all of his thoughts and observations about religion, politics, the Earth, and life in general. After hearing Carlin's take on god and religion I still had my Bar Mitzvah, which was yet another step towards my godless lifestyle. The Bar Mitzvah is supposed to be a time in a boy's life when he becomes a man in the eyes of the Jewish community. A time when you are supposed to be an individual that is responsible and righteous, but I didn't care about any of that. I cared about getting through all of those damned Torah study sessions so that I could get to the party. This Bar Mitzvah would be a weekend all about me and I would be able to get loads of presents. Now, I was never a selfish or spoiled kid, but hey I have Jewish blood so if someone wants to give me free shit I'm going to take it. After the craziness of the Bar Mitzvah was over I didn't feel any different. I didn't feel any closer to god. In fact I wanted nothing to do with religion. After the Bar Mitzvah came religious school at the temple once a week. Hot diggity! I was already going to a religious middle school and now I could count on an extra hour of religious study per week. Since I wasn't emancipated from my parents and I wasn't strong enough to argue with them, I went to the religious school classes while my sister, who drove me to the classes, decided to ditch said classes. And I continued to go until I was confirmed at 16. At that point I had had enough and I told my parents that I was through and that they should not expect to see me graduate from religious school. I received some backlash, but it was more like nagging than anything else. Afterall, both of my sisters had graduated so why should I be any different? I guess they couldn't complain too much since I was at a religious high school and I would still be receiving a good, solid religious education. After high school was over I went to college, and like most people my age I discovered that I didn't have to live the life that my parents wanted for me. Even though there was a Hillel at UT San Antonio I didn't have any interest in finding out any information about it. I didn't seek out a synagogue either. I only attended services when I returned home for the religious holidays. I would just sit in my seat and daydream or walk around the temple until after services let out. I would have rather been anywhere else, but my family still had a bit of a stranglehold on me. The next summer I went back to Camp Sabra like I had every other year and I participated in the Shabbat services, but not out of some feeling of religious duty. I simply liked the song leader and it was fun to sing along with the campers and fellow staff members. That same summer a friend of mine was reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. I was happy to see a like-minded thinker at a Jewish summer camp. He let me read the book when he was through with it, and after the first few pages I came to realize that I was an Atheist. I guess it had never occurred to me before reading the words in print but it all made sense. I found it very ironic that I became an Atheist while at a Jewish summer camp. I was happy that I had finally come to realize this, and I now understood why religion had left me with such a bad taste in my mouth for all of these years. I now had a label for myself. When I returned home from camp I decided to tell my family. I got different reactions from each family member ranging from disappointment to confusion. Despite my years of dragging my feet to services and religious school they still seemed rather shocked by the news. They all seem to hold out hope that this is all just a phase. That I'm just mad at god and that I will one day find religion again. A few months later I decided to buy tickets to a Dave Matthews Band concert that took place on the eve of Yom Kippur which is the holiest date on the Jewish calendar. I was going to go to the concert with both of my sisters and that came as yet another shock to my parents. Maybe they realized that this wasn't just a phase any more. As I became more comfortable with my Atheism I began to tell other people my thoughts and feelings on religion and I learned that a few of my friends had already felt the same way. I learned that there was a rather large Atheist community in Austin and that they put on a weekly TV show about Atheism. I began to watch this show every week and I learned a lot about Atheism and religion in general, but I still was unable to get over all of these bad feelings that I had about religious folk. I am a very tolerant person and I can respect people who have different opinons, but I was never able to respect people that called themselves religious. I just could not understand how they were able to be mostly rational people on six days out of the week, but they would all gather in their religious houses of worship and pray to an invisible man in the sky. I did not like feeling this way. I do not claim to be in any way superior, so I wanted to be able to understand. Today, I finally realized how I can begin to understand these folks. As I said at the beginning of the post I am a lover of comic books. I go to the comics shop every Wednesday when the new books come out and I arrive there just as the store opens. Some might even call my devotion to these four-color adventures religous. So, that's when it hit me. Maybe I can learn to accept that there are people out there that do not share my thoughts on religion, just as there are those who are not into comic books. I am a fanboy when it comes to all things related to comic books just like religious folk are fanboys when it comes to all things related to god. It may not be the best way to understand why people cling to their religious beliefs but it's a start.

Cheap Thrill

I had such a good time clicking that "publish post" button that I think I'll do it again.

The Time Has Come

I'm back again from another long hiatus. Did you miss me? You probably didn't even notice that I was gone. That's OK. I didn't really leave any impression on you. I am back though. Unfortunately I don't have anything to say at the moment. If you have any suggestions of things that I can blog about please let me know in the comments section. If not, then please comment anyway. I'd love to hear from you. Consider this my retirement from procrastination. Hopefully you'll see me on here more regularly.